FORGIVENESS

God has been dealing with one heart issue I had, of forgiving but always coming back to the offender and making sure I remind them how terrible they are and the actions they did. God has been teaching me about forgiveness and now it has been something I never struggle with, God dealt with it and no more of an unforgiving heart and spirit.So welcome, I will put down some lessons I learnt and I bet they will lift up someone😊. Forgiveness reflects the character of God. When a person forgives, they are reflecting the love of our Father. Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.Be kind and compassionate to one another, FORGIVING EACH OTHER,JUST AS IN CHRIST,GOD FORGAVE YOU. This scripture hit my head hard, and I knew that it was not whether I felt to forgive or not, but I have been commanded to forgive, only that I had to make a choice, in which depending on the choice I made, there will be a consequence. I was a sinner, but in Christ all my sins as a whole were forgiven by God and not just forgiven, and He doesn't just see me as a forgiven sinner, but as one who has never sinned and He calls me justified!His righteousness!That alone changed me.

I have learnt a lot on forgiveness and I will make a summary in three points:

1. Forgive because you were forgiven and forgive to be forgiven.

It is so difficult to show mercy to the undeserving and forgive when the offender doesn't even seem to be apologetic at times right? but you know what?You do not determine who to forgive or not forgive or what offense is forgivable and not. The command is forgive your offender, that is it!You cannot change the command of God to suite your needs in any way. Colossians 3:13 says Bear with each other and forgive one another.If any of you has a grievance against someone.Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  I realized that at times I may actually offend someone but by the virtue that I forgave someone else, I am always forgiven as fast and God forgives me too. What you do to others will always reciprocate to you.Christ died for our sins, God forgave us, He expects us to forgive. It dawned on me one day that it is a fearful thing that God will not forgive me because all I have been doing was holding on to the wrongs done to me. Matthew 6:14-15 says For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father WILL NOT forgive your sins. Forgiveness is not an act of weakness, it is a sign of the impact of Gods forgiveness on you as a sinner.

2. Forgive out of love and not hurt.

Forgiveness is not easy and does not just come naturally, one has got to have God to forgive.God who is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs. It is out of love that you can be able to truly forgive, and the instance you forgive, God takes care of the hurt and continues with the healing process. There are times, we tell ourselves that there is no way we can forgive unless an apology is given and we really stick to it but I read this verse and things changed Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. At times, it feels satisfying to get a sorry,I was on the wrong and it actually is very mature to confess, but you will never get the apologies sometimes and you still are expected to forgive.It requires a manner of love like God!that even when you see yourself being offended, you have already forgiven. It is very very expensive to hold on to an offense, it makes you a prisoner to the offense, you need to choose to forgive from the heart and allow God to heal the hurt.Can you imagine God treating you the way you treat your offenders? Not good at all. Matthew 5:44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven....I mean, all this requires the love of Christ to be poured out on our hearts,God Himself and furthermore one who proclaims to be a son of God, must be able to forgive and what does scripture say again in Matthew 18:21 Peter asks Jesus,Lord,how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me, up to 7 times? Jesus replies, I tell you, not just 7 times but seventy-seven times. Peter must have been shocked. I remember in Sunday School we were told this was just for a day, and it is not humanly possible for someone to offend you those number of times in 24 hours so it has to sink in all of us, that there is no good reason as to why you cannot forgive anyone who offends you.

There was a time a fellow believer really offended me and not knowing that I knew what she said, she obviously was cool with me and here I was pretending to be at peace with her.I told God, I will not let her know and never confront her but atakipata I will ignore her, shut her out ans see what she will do without me, God said nothing until one day we were to prepare for a worship service with this friend, we met with a team, prayed and ready to begin worship practice then God whispered Leave your sacrifice, go make peace with your friend, come back. That was a familiar text to me, Matthew 5:24 Leave your gift there in front of the altar,go at once and make peace with your brother and then come back to offer your gift to God. This are times I have the Jesus are you serious? moments. She doesn't even know I know, how?  dropped everything and called her, letting her know I forgave her and I loved her so much and immediately a burden got out of me. The love of God does not let you see the hurt, or yield to anger it lets you see the good inside a person and the fact that they can be better. Because,my friend is very resourceful in my life till today, and I cannot tell how it would be if I lost her. Do you even realize that being an unforgiving person affects your relationship with God?It does!Let the love of God grow within you and you will never struggle with forgiving. 1 Peter 4:8 says Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. There is great peace when you offer love filled forgiveness and not forced forgiveness.There is no love without forgiveness, and no forgiveness without love. If one cannot forgive, you can be sure that they are devoid of love.

3. Forgive and forget.To forgive is a choice you make, and the fact that an offender may not apologize or change does not negotiate God's will for us especially Christians to have a forgiving spirit. I had found it difficult for me to forget an offense and when offended again by the same person, I would actually remind them of what they did before. Forgiving and forgetting means that we forgive for Christ's sake and move on as though we were never offended. Paul says in Philippians 3:13 But one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. Letting the past be the past and refusing to allow the root of bitterness to spring up in your heart Hebrews 12:15 see to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble and by it many are defiled. Not only can bitterness make you miss the grace of God, but it is equal to sin in that it defiles, bitterness, anger, they defile a person making them impure/stained. God is omniscient, He is all knowing and He does not forget our sins in the sense that He loses a memory of them, what He does is withdrawing the punishment of the sins we do.Our past culpability is not a factor in how He deals with us and treats us in the future.Just like God, we forgive offenses done to us, we may be cautious of them, but it means nothing and we never use it in the future as a reason to hurt the offender, we do not raise it up another time and stop using it as a weapon in an argument.

Maybe you still feel hurt, it may be that drunk spouse, a non-available parent, a person you lent money.Part of you is bitter and hurting and maybe you are in tears.Just choose to forgive.You may cry out loud and tell God to take the hurt away but trust me, God knows you are hurting and the process of healing begins when you willingly choose to forgive.It allows God to do the healing, the process at some point may feel slow, but as long as God is in it, it will not be long till your joy is restored again. In forgiving, you believe God is a better justice maker. At times you feel like praying those prayers of Mungu nilipishie, let this pain go back to the sender thrice, but do not, forgive and let God give justice as God.

Examine your heart, where do you need to extend forgiveness? and also where do you need to seek forgiveness from someone you offended? Is there any unforgotten pain and bitterness? Forgive and let go. ''To pass by an injury without revenge is not eclipsing an honor''Thomas Watson. Forgiveness is not easy, it just does not come for most people, but when you forgive, you find that a prisoner has been set free and the prisoner was YOU! 

                       "Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." - Mark Twain

Much love,

Imani